Great news!

In co-operation with the New York Times Travel Service, we are able to announce the inaugural season of No Trump Tours. These voyages are not only educational and fascinating in their own right, they are guaranteed to eliminate any mention of our present president during your trip. They will give you complete respite from the incessant pounding of the name Trump on your consciousness and place you in a Trump-free environment in which you can relax and recall those blessed days BTOOA (Before The Orange One Arrived). It will be a cold-turkey withdrawal from your involvement with him in any form.

Tours are limited to small groups of selected guests, who will sign a pledge not to mention the Forbidden Name for the duration of their time together. We will control access to the news by censoring newspapers and magazines available during our travels to ensure that all references to the Donald or any member of his family have been excised before they have a chance to be noticed by our guests. For those taking our boat or river tours, all methods of communication (even letters!) will be screened. WiFi will be monitored, with a time delay, to ensure that both incoming and outgoing messages are Trump-free. For those traveling by bus, similar precautions will prevail, as well as in the affiliated hotels and restaurants (all five-star) where our guests will be lodged. Even the routes over which our air-conditioned coaches will travel will be scouted in advance to make sure there are no billboards or signs that could break the spell. In the cities on our itineraries special news kiosks will be set up along the routes of our walking tours, with only vetted publications displayed (including redacted daily newspapers). We will of course also avoid any building displaying the Trump name, which may in some places necessitate travel by specially modified limousines with heavily tinted windows, but this will not prevent us from reaching all of the most selfie-worthy sites left on your bucket list.

We can offer you a No Trump vacation of any length you specify. (An open-ended trip can be arranged, in which you can decide to come home at any time if the stress of withdrawal proves too great, or if the cure takes effect more rapidly than you anticipated.) You will eventually have to return of course to Trump-polluted daily life but with your resistance strengthened, you will be more able to focus on real rather than reality-show issues.

For more information, consult www.https://notrumptours/itineraries or consult your travel agent.

And welcome to a vacation that will renew your faith that Trump is not an essential component in everyday life.

Vance, for No Trump Tours