Why is there no school today, Mommy?

Because it’s Potemkin Day. National holiday. Everything closed to honor the Lord’s commandment about an occasional day of rest. Except, of course, the stores, the theaters, the supermarkets, and the restaurants. Major shopping day. We need lots of stuff.

What’s that : Potemkin Day?

Long story, littlegirl. Sure you want to hear it?

I always want to hear your stories, you know that. Even when I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.

Sometimes neither do I. All right. Many years ago — 232 years ago, to be exact — the Russian Empress Catherine II decided to take a boat ride from Moscow to the Crimea to check on the condition of her back country. Which at the time was not particularly good. Famine, disease, poverty, rampant corruption. Her entourage included a number of ambassadors from countries equally eager to assess the same thing for their own employers. One of her ministers, Grigory Potemkin, who also had an after-hours job as her lover, helped her devise a scheme to persuade them that everything was fine.

A fake village, of freshly-constructed building façades, like Disney World, and populated by actors was assembled every morning of the cruise on the riverbank for them to inspect, then as darkness came, it was replaced by strategically placed torches and candles to simulate illuminated windows while the buildings were disassembled and shipped ahead to be re-erected along the next day’s route so the dignitaries could see for themselves how prosperous Russia was — filled with bustling activity and happy citizens.

Pretty far out if you ask me.

Yes. But it’s amazing how many such deceptions can be perpetrated by really determined sycophants determined to defend their protected positions. And not all historians are convinced. But the designation ‘Potemkin Village’ has been used ever since to denote a fake papering over of a rotten situation.

And we celebrate that in this country? Why? What has all that got to do with us?All those people are dead and gone.

Well, 200 years on, a situation came up in which our home-grown version of Catherine, a guy named Trump, found a need to use a similar strategy, but this time, so desperate was he for the love and adulation of his subjects that he turned the game totally around, revising it to deceive not others but himself. He portrayed the country as a wild success story for his ‘gut’ theories of government and established a propaganda empire to support his view. Anything tending to contradict his portrait he simply labeled ‘fake news’ and ignored. For a while it worked reasonably well : after all the grandchildren from whom he was stealing the money to create his Potemkin village hadn’t yet been born, so they were in no position to complain, and those in power were too preoccupied with the details of redecorating their homes and offices with de rigueur gold trimmings that they had no time to assess what collateral damage they might be causing to the basic structure. But eventually his various ministers and technical experts realized that only disaster could lie at the end of that road. His spur-of-the-moment firings of people he had just hired meant that there was no security in their own positions. His deliberate destruction of the formal institutions of government meant that they couldn’t even be sure of exactly what it was they were aspiring to. Even the corruption became unpredictable. They could no longer be guaranteed delivery on their earmarks and loopholes and rackets..

What to do?

They finally decided they would have to turn his own tactic against him. His insatiable thirst for praise (always claiming to be a genius, with the ‘biggest’ crowds at his rallies, his ‘highest ratings’ of any president in history, being everyone’s ‘favorite president’) fell apart at the seams of its own own accord until finally he and a couple of close allies were his only remaining fans. But he was also in fact still the President, and therefore in control of many of the levers of power. After much discussion a secret cabal was formed to enable the real work of government to be performed without his participation, leaving him under the impression that it was still he who was in charge. The Potemkin village was constructed around him, not by him, to wall him off from the real world in a cocoon of fake news. The windows of the White House and Air Force One were doctored to show adoring crowds no matter where he looked, and the sounds of cheering and Hail to the Chief were piped into every room he entered. Special editions of the newspapers were published showing that his every plan was a roaring success. His cell phone was monitored to bring him only good news, including constant encomiums from all the heads of states of the rest of the world. His golf card was adjusted by his caddie to assure him scores in the high 60s. Even his shaving mirror was tinted a nice shade of sepia.

With him safely taken out of the action, the normal workings of government were quickly re-established, and the country, which had been teetering on the brink of crisis in the lack of ability to make any coherent future plans or commitments, began to recover. It took months to convince other governments that the new regime was solid and its promises reliable, and to restore the faith and confidence that the world had formerly granted its leadership, but by the time he figured out what was happening it was too late — for him. He raved and ranted but to no avail. The voters overwhelmingly backed the new regime, and the Republic was saved.

Since then we have devised a number of constitutional amendments to prevent backsliding, and we have established a national day of celebration on the anniversary of his abdication : Potemkin Day.

How come I didn’t already know that story? My teacher never mentioned it.

Because the story no longer matters. What counts now is that you get a day off from school and Hallmark gets another special day to celebrate — although with Internet cards, they say the business is nowhere near as lucrative as it used to be.

I’m ready.

Then let’s go.

Where’s your backpack? Have you combed your hair? We have ten minutes to catch the bus.

Why is there no school today, Mommy?

Because it’s Potemkin Day. National holiday. Everything closed to honor the Lord’s commandment about an occasional day of rest. Except, of course, the stores, the theaters, the supermarkets, and the restaurants. Major shopping day. We need lots of stuff.

What’s that : Potemkin Day?

Long story, littlegirl. Sure you want to hear it?

I always want to hear your stories, you know that. Even when I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.

Sometimes neither do I. All right. Many years ago — 232 years ago, to be exact — the Russian Empress Catherine II decided to take a boat ride from Moscow to the Crimea to check on the condition of her back country. Which at the time was not particularly good. Famine, disease, poverty, rampant corruption. Her entourage included a number of ambassadors from countries equally eager to assess the same thing for their own employers. One of her ministers, Grigory Potemkin, who also had an after-hours job as her lover, helped her devise a scheme to persuade them that everything was fine.

A fake village, of freshly-constructed building façades, like Disney World, and populated by actors was assembled every morning of the cruise on the riverbank for them to inspect, then as darkness came, it was replaced by strategically placed torches and candles to simulate illuminated windows while the buildings were disassembled and shipped ahead to be re-erected along the next day’s route so the dignitaries could see for themselves how prosperous Russia was — filled with bustling activity and happy citizens.

Pretty far out if you ask me.

Yes. But it’s amazing how many such deceptions can be perpetrated by really determined sycophants determined to defend their protected positions. And not all historians are convinced. But the designation ‘Potemkin Village’ has been used ever since to denote a fake papering over of a rotten situation.

And we celebrate that in this country? Why? What has all that got to do with us?All those people are dead and gone.

Well, 200 years on, a situation came up in which our home-grown version of Catherine, a guy named Trump, found a need to use a similar strategy, but this time, so desperate was he for the love and adulation of his subjects that he turned the game totally around, revising it to deceive not others but himself. He portrayed the country as a wild success story for his ‘gut’ theories of government and established a propaganda empire to support his view. Anything tending to contradict his portrait he simply labeled ‘fake news’ and ignored. For a while it worked reasonably well : after all the grandchildren from whom he was stealing the money to create his Potemkin village hadn’t yet been born, so they were in no position to complain, and those in power were too preoccupied with the details of redecorating their homes and offices with de rigueur gold trimmings that they had no time to assess what collateral damage they might be causing to the basic structure. But eventually his various ministers and technical experts realized that only disaster could lie at the end of that road. His spur-of-the-moment firings of people he had just hired meant that there was no security in their own positions. His deliberate destruction of the formal institutions of government meant that they couldn’t even be sure of exactly what it was they were aspiring to. Even the corruption became unpredictable. They could no longer be guaranteed delivery on their earmarks and loopholes and rackets..

What to do?

They finally decided they would have to turn his own tactic against him. His insatiable thirst for praise (always claiming to be a genius, with the ‘biggest’ crowds at his rallies, his ‘highest ratings’ of any president in history, being everyone’s ‘favorite president’) fell apart at the seams of its own own accord until finally he and a couple of close allies were his only remaining fans. But he was also in fact still the President, and therefore in control of many of the levers of power. After much discussion a secret cabal was formed to enable the real work of government to be performed without his participation, leaving him under the impression that it was still he who was in charge. The Potemkin village was constructed around him, not by him, to wall him off from the real world in a cocoon of fake news. The windows of the White House and Air Force One were doctored to show adoring crowds no matter where he looked, and the sounds of cheering and Hail to the Chief were piped into every room he entered. Special editions of the newspapers were published showing that his every plan was a roaring success. His cell phone was monitored to bring him only good news, including constant encomiums from all the heads of states of the rest of the world. His golf card was adjusted by his caddie to assure him scores in the high 60s. Even his shaving mirror was tinted a nice shade of sepia.

With him safely taken out of the action, the normal workings of government were quickly re-established, and the country, which had been teetering on the brink of crisis in the lack of ability to make any coherent future plans or commitments, began to recover. It took months to convince other governments that the new regime was solid and its promises reliable, and to restore the faith and confidence that the world had formerly granted its leadership, but by the time he figured out what was happening it was too late — for him. He raved and ranted but to no avail. The voters overwhelmingly backed the new regime, and the Republic was saved.

Since then we have devised a number of constitutional amendments to prevent backsliding, and we have established a national day of celebration on the anniversary of his abdication : Potemkin Day.

How come I didn’t already know that story? My teacher never mentioned it.

Because the story no longer matters. What counts now is that you get a day off from school and Hallmark gets another special day to celebrate — although with Internet cards, they say the business is nowhere near as lucrative as it used to be.

I’m ready.

Then let’s go.